‘I love him but he is getting crueller and more violent every day…first it was just a few slaps… but now he has starting hurting me more.”
“Go on tell me what happened Lucy” she prompts me “it’s ok, you are safe here,” she looks up at me for a moment before back down to her notebook scribbling away in it.
“I know it’s wrong, but…” I pause for a moment and breath a long deep breath. “I love the pain and the even the verbal abuse and humiliation. I can’t stop how turned on I get by it.” I drop my head in in embarrassment.
“And has something changed recently?” she asks me, glancing up at me seeing my discomfort.
“Well, when I fell from my horse last week I haven’t been able to do as much around the house for him as usual.”
“And how has that made things at home?”
“Well, I thought he would leave me alone for a bit, you know until I healed but he didn’t. I’ve only bene home for two days, and last night when I spilled his drink on the floor, he jumped up and pushed me to the floor and rubbed my face in it.” I paused, waiting for her to respond but she didn’t. I hated it when she just sat there waiting, it always made me uncomfortable and I just kept talking.
“and he hit me over and over in the ribs.”
“Can you show me where he hit you?”
I nod slowly and unbutton my blouse, I can see by her eyes that she can already see the dark bruises that are on my cleavage above my white bra cups but she gasps out loud when I open the shirt and expose the side of my body. She can see the full extent of the damage he has caused as dark purple bruises cover my side.
“Oh my God Lucy,” she hasn’t stopped staring at me. “You have to leave him today.”
I nod “I can’t.”
***
You walk through the door, I shove you up against the wall…
“And just where have you been?” I demand… standing there in front of you my body holding you in place against the wall.
You’d mutter at me, “At the shops”, barely able to heard by me, as you look down avoiding my eyes…
My hand slowly and deliberately I lift to your chin. Softly forcing it up towards my gaze, and then your eyes lift to mine, and I know you are lying. In a stern tone I say, “the truth Lucy….”
You mutter – “A-a-a-at the counsellor”… your eyes looking into mine with a pleading fearful pleading look.
I take my finger from your chin, and slide it half way down your neck, and then my hand wraps around your neck, my fingers on one side and my thumb on the other.
I squeeze…. my fingers digging into your neck and cutting off your airway instantly…. I hold your airways shut whilst looking down into your eyes… the seconds quickly start to pass.
10 seconds…
20 seconds…
You start to gasp….
30 seconds….
You gasp more straining for an ounce of air to fill your lungs… your eyes starting to plead with me to let you breath…. they start to glaze over…..
“And, did you tell her I hurt you…?” my tone getting more angrier by the moment, “did you?”.
Your eyes roll softly back in your head, and I loosen my grip just enough for a slither of air to flood your desperate lungs… you gasp breathing in as quickly and as much as you can before muttering back to me…
“Y-y-y-es b-b-ut”…you stop, you sense it, you know nothing you say now will stop me. I can see it in your eyes pleading for mercy before I have even touched you…
My fingers tighten their grip again on your neck – you feel the force of my fingers squeezing the life out of you as I just stand there staring into your eyes for what seems like an eternity.
Its abundantly clear – the conversation goes at my pace… I do not mind silence… I do not mind taking my time to interrogate you and use your body as I do….
As you gasp again for more air, I continue….
“No fucking buts, I bet you didn’t tell her you wanted me to… that you are the slut that gets wet when I hit you…that you are a filthy cum hungry whore…”
Still holding your neck with my right hand, I bring my left up to the top of your breasts and slide it down – your breasts half exposed int the low cut top that I made you wear out …. some of the bruises just showing…. my fingers rip at your blouse, the buttons popping open exposing more of your flesh to me…
I release my grip again when your eyes start to roll back in your head… you gasp taking in a breath before you continue…
“N-n-n-not exactly”…. you stutter again breathing more deeply as my finger circles over your breasts, tracing over the bruises one by one…
Whilst still holding you by the neck, I take the finger from my other hand off your blouse, and raise my hand behind my head and swiftly in one motion bring it crashing down against your cheek…
“Smaccckk” flush against your cheek…
“Lets give you something real to talk about then, shall we?”
I raise my hand again and bring it back down against the same cheek smmmaccck.
Your head jolts at the force and you look up at me with your blank glazed over eyes.
I continue to hit you.. smaccckk
And again … smaccckk
And again … smaccckk
Your cheek already starting to burn…. as I hold you in place by my right hand around your neck, letting just enough oxgen into your body to keep you conscious.
I pause for a moment and whisper in a softer calmer tone …. “more slut?”
I release my grip on your neck just enough for you to respond, your body writhing in pleasure as you moan back at me “More please Sir”….
I drop my grip on your neck and move my hand to the top of your head, and grab a fistful of hair and yank you forward away from the wall.
I begin to drag you down the hall. Totally disregard to your broken leg… you try to scamper along behind me. You end up half on the floor, trying to push yourself along as quick as you can with the one good leg you have. But in reality, I just drag you…. drag you by just your hair….
I throw you down onto the floor by the bed….. the fun’s just beginning….
You know it….
I know it….